"Well, someone has to."
"Not you. Let’s go do something actually fun."
He sighs and shrugs. “Whatever. Can you help me clean up a bit?”
"Wait, you’re going to clean this?”
"See now I’m in quite the conundrum… If I tell you I did bring some, then you’ll just steal it, y’know Hermes kid and all that. Or you’d get Link to steal it and we all know she can get away with anything. Now if I tell you I didn’t bring some then I’m stuck smoking alone, which I’ve been doing the whole time I was gone.”
"So if I did bring some - and I’m not saying I did - but hypothetically, if I were to have brought some back with me, what would be in it for me?”
"All right. How much did you pay for your weed?"
Brent walks into the arena and looks around at the mess of scattered practice dummies and targets. “What happened?”
Julian shrugs. “I have no idea.”
[scoffs and rolls her eyes] No! I passed out after kicking the evil little puppy’s butt, but I don’t remember why. Everything just went dark and I woke up back in the van with Sebastian poking me.
"Oh weird. So did you guys finish the quest even though you passed out?"
"He probably just treats you like shit to try and compensate for his tiny Irish dick. If I were a guy, I’d feel totally intimidated by you. You’re perfect. Like, a bit of an ass, but still pretty freaking great.” She nudges him gently with an elbow and then waits for him to continue.
"You’re the best, baby." He chuckles and presses a hard kiss to her cheek. "So, uh, did Andi tell you I took her shoe? She threw it at my head so I kept it."
She lets out a small laugh before taking another drag on her cigarette, “How much have you been smoking?”
"Not more than usual. No need to be concerned."
She tries to calm down the animals scurrying past her legs. She can’t help but laugh at Julian. “That’s Timmy. He’s a warrior.” She smiles as the kitten swipes at Julian with a tiny paw.
Julian holds the paw that Timmy swings at him between to fingers and shakes it like he and the kitten and business partners. And then he rubs the side of the kitten on his cheek. “So soft!”
"A platypus or sloth named brother; I’m fine with either. Alternatively, the President, but he’s my second choice by a landslide."
He nods solemnly. “I want Obama as a brother. I bet he has access to the best chronic.”